Friday Fragments: Funny Kids, Smurfs, and A Human Teething Ring – more added

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Friday Fragments is brought to you by Mrs. 4444. Go and check out her blog for instructions and links to other bloggers’ posts.

1. My 4 month old amazed me this week.While sitting on my lap, he started to turn and twist his body, determined to reach for something on the arm of the couch. I figured it was some colorful toy catching his attention. But when I looked over to see what he was reaching for, all I saw was the remote. The boring, grey remote. Yes, my 4 month old son is already showing his “man” tendencies. He knows that the “big black box” shows colorful pictures, and apparently knows that the “grey rectangular thingy” makes this happen. So glad he learned that this early!

2. My oldest is apparently girl crazy already. No, he’s not crushing on a little girl in his playschool class. Or a girl in the neighborhood. Or even a human. The girl that has his heart currently is Penny. Penny is a middle-aged female firefighter on a cartoon called Fireman Sam. I am still trying to figure this one out. Maybe it’s because she’s blonde like his mom. Maybe it’s because she has a UK accent like his dad. Or maybe it’s because he is going to be one of those guys who loves cougars! Whatever the reason, he thinks (or wishes) she was real. You can imagine the look on my face when he said to me, “I want Penny in my bed.” Yeah, the mouth dropped open just a bit. But it dropped open even more when he said, “Penny is going to take a bath with me.” If I didn’t know that Penny was a cartoon, I’d think my hubby was secretly letting little girls sneak into my son’s bed and bath! I know all dads want their sons to be studs, but I don’t know…call me crazy, but I think 2.5 years old is a bit on the young side to groom a stud. I think we should at least wait until kindergarten!

3. When your child is calling your name for the 100th time in a row, ever think of saying “Mommy’s not here!”? And when they say “Yes you are mommy!” you put a blanket over your head and say “No, no I’m not here.” Yeah, me either. Was just checking….

4. I referred to Fraggle Rock in the beginning of my post. Remember that show? Oh how I loved it. Not really sure why since it was just a bunch of weird muppet people living underground. But why did we love half of the shows we did when we were kids? Why did I love the Smurfs so much? Especially since there was only one girl Smurf in the whole Smurf village. Smurfette. So how did they have Smurf babies then? Were the Smurfs asexual or able to perform acts of immaculate conception? Hmmm….now I’ll be trying to figure that one out all day.

5. I have A LOT of emails in my inbox. No really. TONS. Want to take a guess as to how many? I hear 50….175…500! Keep guessing. How about 600….780…1000?! Nope. The magic number is 2888! Yes, you read that number correctly – two thousand, eight hundred, eighty-eight emails. No, it’s not that I am THAT popular. It’s just that I am horrible at deleting emails, especially the ones that I don’t read. I get tons of automatic updates from the mom’s group I’m in and other emails that I just gloss over. And my intention is always to go back and delete them later, but somehow that never happens. And then I end up with 2888 emails to sort through! I’ve literally made a mountain out of a mole hill, huh? (There’s got to be some kind of award for most emails in an email inbox, right? Trying to find the silver lining here!).

6. So I wrote this post last month about the various roles I fill in my job as mom. But I’d like to add a couple of more roles to that list: milked cow, human teething ring, and playground jungle gym. (If you have no idea what these roles are, borrow an infant and toddler for an afternoon and get back to me.)

7. Ok, I just added this one right now at 3pm because I couldn’t pass it up. My oldest just woke up from his nap and as I was raising my hand to scratch my head, I could tell his eyes were fixed on my armpit. I am wearing a tank top, so my armpits are fully exposed. He was looking at my armpit and said, “What’s that mommy?” I looked down to see what he meant, and, well…yeah, it’s been a couple of days since I’ve shaved. I told him it was hair. He then said, “That’s hair mommy. Lots of hair.” To which my mom, who egged him on, said “Tell mommy to shave it!” So of course, since my son is a parrot, he looked me right in the eye and said, “Shave it mommy. That’s gross!” Great. Now there’s 2 men in my life that want me to shave more often!

….Ok and just when I thought I was done writing, my son went and did something else I have to include. He pulls down my tank top and says, “Look mommy, nipples! You have two nipples. See….1…2. Nipples, for baby to eat!” So in addition to 2 men trying to get me to shave more often, I now have 2 men trying to get a peek at my nipples more often, too! Can’t me and my body just be left alone in its sad shape?!

Alright, those are my fragments this Friday. Have a good day everyone!