Guest Blogger #1: Spawnocalypse & Multitasking

The Spawnocalypse Guide to Multitasking
By Deb

My two-year-and-a half-year old started making a racket from his crib around 5:15. And rather than risk a crabby 20-month-old with disturbed slumber, too, I schlepped down the stairs with the boy, his bear, and the musical potty chair he lately has no inclination to activate.

It’s now 6:34 and he and Teddy are passed out blissfully on the couch. I’m now caffeinated, and the girl will be up at any minute anyhow. I’ve got maybe 20 minutes to use the laptop without toddlers climbing on me and demanding to see photos of themselves or Thomas sing-a-longs (the two functions for which they assume portable computers were created).

I recall I owe Tamara — another multitasking mom of two — a guest post. Still no ideas. While enjoying a rare opportunity to go to the bathroom by myself, I contemplate how every moment of my day is a lot like the sporty ’89 Honda Prelude I drove in college and twice yearly managed to cram with all of my worldly possessions. Mini fridge on passenger seat. Socks and unmentionables neatly stuffed inside fridge. Clothing-filled Hefty bags cushioning my Brother word processor and 13-inch TV/VCR combo from the perils of a 90-minute drive amongst fellow Massachusetts drivers.

As a mom, I have an intricate hierarchy of tasks I can accomplish under specific circumstances:

• Only with no children (or, often, husband) in the house–any project involving tools, chemical cleaners, and/or expletives; not sharing a well-deserved dessert
• Only while they’re sleeping–most writing, reading, laundry that I’d like to fold just once
• With just the older one awake–possible showering, Internet perusal if I’m stealthy
• With the little one on my lap (This Little Piggy Went to Market “again,” “again,” and “AGAIN!”)
• While both kids are …

1. playing–dishes, secret snacking
2. eating–mobile Twittering, packing leftovers, perhaps sitting for a bite myself
3. enraptured in a DVD–conference calls, consuming a full mug of coffee without needing to reheat
4. fighting/screaming/scaling window shades–issuing timeouts, during which I may complete abridged versions of aforementioned items

I squeeze business tasks, personal hygiene, and a half-hearted attempt at housekeeping into the appropriate crevices. A lot like those clown car rides to and from school, sometimes I get shoelaces tangled in my gear shift or fail to see a U-Haul backing up out my completely obscured rear window.

But it is what it is. A never-ending game of Tetris that will only increase in difficulty until I reach the magical level at which one or both of them attends some sort of school (like 2014 or something). Every day I get to start over, learn new tricks, get a little more agile.

I discover new ways to keep them busy — “letting” them hand-shred a heap of junk mail — yet remind myself that the majority of my waking moments should be focused solely on these babies with nothing on their to-do lists except to love and be loved. As often as the opportunity presents, I ignore all else but the road before us and on making the most of this journey that will pass far too quickly.

What’s your take on being a multitasking mom?

Deb is a freelance writer and mom of two closely spaced toddlers. Check out their adventures at www.spawnocalypse.com.

Tagged as: guest blogger